Finding My Way
A reflection on ADHD, identity, and finally understanding what never made sense.
I didn’t fall down a rabbit hole. I was born in it.
Growing up, I was the quiet, well-behaved girl. I followed the rules, got good grades, never caused (much) trouble. On the outside, I seemed like the ideal student, but inside, I was working twice as hard just to keep up.
There were things I couldn’t explain, like how I could read an entire page and have no idea what it said. Or how I’d space out in class, heart pounding when a teacher called my name because my attention had drifted to admiring my friend’s cute new sneakers.
One minute I was following the rules, the next I was in a world that made no sense to me. Emotions were loud, even when I said nothing. Time was slippery. Focus felt like something that lived outside my control. Maybe if I wore my glasses that would have helped, but likely not.
I wasn’t trying to be difficult. I just felt off, like I was always one step behind. Like everyone else had a map on the Girl Scout hike, and I was meandering around noticing the pretty mushrooms.
None of it felt like something I could explain. So I masked it. I compensated. I worked harder. And still, I kept wondering why things that felt simple for other people seemed to take everything I had.
Years later, when I finally learned about ADHD, something clicked. It wasn’t an excuse. It was an explanation. And with that understanding came compassion, direction, and even pride.
Because ADHD doesn’t just come with challenges. It also brings deep strengths like:
Creativity – the ability to connect ideas in ways others don’t see
Sensitivity – picking up on energy, emotion, and nuance
Focus – when the spark hits, we lock in and create magic
Resilience – we’ve been adapting all along
For a long time, I thought something was wrong with me. Now I know I was just trying to navigate without a map. Now that I have one, I still pause to check out the mushrooms, but with each step I take, I see myself more clearly and I can actually enjoy the hike.
Have you had a moment where things finally made sense? I’d love to hear. 💬
